thorns & roses

I saw the photos tonight, and I'm glad that you 2 had fun today. I'm glad that you've each other for support whenever a situation takes place. But I'm never in that "zone" that probably had been created. I'm beginning to see that I'm outside, and that when situations happen, some invisible band draws across us and I'm like a complete stranger.

Everytime I think of it, I can't help but cry. I guess I've long forgotten how it is like to be in it. And to be honest, I wish that many years ago, I was wise enough to stop changes from happening. To bring this whole thing up again, I must say I totally regret how everything is now. Maybe if some things are not the way they are now, everything else will be different. I long for support as well.

I know I'm not the sweet talker, I know in bad situations I cannot bring myself to apologize. Perhaps my whole being has been instilled in your mind already. Like how you always say, "You won't do this you won't do that", its as if nothing I do can change my image in your mind anymore. But did you guys forget, I'm just human, and I've feelings.

Now sometimes I can only put myself to blame for whatever that happened.

I dwell over the past, and I allow myself to live in regrets. That's just me. And if any of you get to see this someday, trust me, I've tried to amend whatever I feel I've done wrong, and I don't feel good about all these either.